Welcome to La Cudëscherïa, Talossa's first on-line bookstore, providing you with a complete catalogue of all available books dealing with the Kingdom of Talossa!

La Cudëscherïa is arranged by author. We currently feature books that can be purchased from two Talossans: R. Ben Madison and John A. Jahn.

All books that are part of the "Index Of Permitted Books" have a small Talossan flag () next to them in their listings. All books that count as non-Ben books for the immigration book requirement have a small orange diamond () next to them in their listings.

An Important Note: To purchase books from the "Books from Ben" section, you will have to contact Ben Madison. To purchase books from the "Books from Jahn" section, you will have to contact John Jahn.

To order any (or all) of the books in this section, please e-mail Ben at talossa@execpc.com. When he has acknowledged your order, please send a cheque or money order to the following address:

FOR THESE BOOKS:

• U.S. ORDERS: Please include $2.50 per book. Thank you!
• OVERSEAS ORDERS: For surface mail (delivery time: 4 - 6 weeks), please include $4.00 per book. For airmail, please include $7.00 per book. Thank you!

Your order will hopefully be processed within 72 hours of payment.

570: Early Christianity From The Apostles To The Apostasy
RT£1.770,-- (US$30.00)
This remarkable scholarly work details the birth of the Christian Church in First Century Israel, and its rapid expansion throughout the Mediterranean world, concentrating on certain Jewish doctrines and organizational structures which were characteristic of pure, "primitive Christianity" but which the Gentile Catholics sought to repress. Believe it or not there's a Talossan connexion: Madison demonstrates, using the original manuscripts of early Christian history, that primitive Christianity survived the longest in North Africa among the Berbers, whose "Donatist Church" fought against Catholic torture for hundreds of years until it surrendered around the year 570 AD and sealed the doom of Christianity until modern times! Parts of this book have already been published in a real scholarly journal--get the full story about ancient Christianity today.

L'Anuntziâ dels Legeux
RT£1.475,-- (US$25.00)
The complete reprint of all of Talossa's laws, and proposed laws, from September, 1987 until the government started keeping online Clark records in October, 1996. This book is not only a "must" for Senators and Members of the Cosâ, as well as Uppermost Cort Justices--it's also a hilarious historical sourcebook. Besides all the official titles, annexations, constitutional changes, diplomatic deals, and so forth, you can find a host of bizarre bills from Ben Madison, Dan Lorentz, John Jahn, Andrew Wozniak, Wes Erni, John Eiffler, Tom Buffone, "Davron," and many more. Cheapos, Non-Mammal Symbols, the Jock Ministry, the Kingess, time capsules, gunboats, funny dogs, the Ben Oversight Committee, the "Henry David Thoreau Expansion Act," skateboards, tattoos, Kurds, Berbers, Lithuanians, and exiled Paraguayan strongman Generalissimo Alfredo Stroessner--it's all here!

Ár Päts: A Cheap Talossan History
RT£295,-- (US$5.00)
A concise, 25-page history of Talossa, 1979-1996, newly revised and expanded. (Yes, this is the "expanded concise" history. :-) ) A must read for all new citizens and for all who ever hope to understand what Talossa is all about!

The Berber Project
RT£413,-- (US$7.00)
Now In Its Second Edition! A fascinating scholarly journey into Talossa's prehistory, loaded with maps. Who really built those "Indian mounds" in Vuode Province? Who really dropped that 1,500-year-old Byzantine coin on Talossan soil? This book uses only real, professional historians to prove that ancient Berbers are responsible for Talossa's pre-Ben history and heritage. Taco Bell, Illinois drivers, huge piles of dirt, copper artifacts, the Maricopa Indians... all is explained in The Berber Project! One of the wackiest Talossa books ever.

Catalög Telefiunál, 1997/xviii
RT£59,-- (US$1.00)
The official RT Phone Book, containing the names, addresses, phone numbers, and now, e-mail addresses, of every known Talossan! ($1.00) Available to Talossan citizens only.

Clashing Symbols
RT£177,-- (US$3.00)
This book presents 73 coats of arms, party emblems, letterheads, and so on, from Talossa's history. Contains hilarious examples of RT art, like a "War Ministry" logo consisting of an American eagle with Benito Mussolini's head!

Corpus Scriptionum Talossanarum
RT£1.475,-- (US$25.00)
Jointly assembled and computerized by Ben Madison, Gjermund Higraff, Tomás Gariçéir, Chris Green, Dale Morris, Albrec'ht Stolfi and Cartéir Adrár, this monumental work of more than 200 pages contains every single Talossan-language document ever published from the first written Talossan documents (December, 1980) through the end of 1996. Now you can follow the growth and evolution of Talossan from one boy's fantasy language to a spoken tongue used by more Talossans (in percentage terms) than spoke Italian in the mid-19th Century! Contains hundreds of articles, poems, letters, slogans, and even the text of entire dictionaries!

From Abbavilla to Zooks: A Lexicon of Talossan English
RT£295,-- (US$5.00)
UPDATED FOR 1998! Contains some 700 English and Talossan-language words common to the unique English dialect of Talossans. A "must" for all readers of Støtanneu and the Talossan Media Project! Do you know what territoriality, Dandipratic, Cestoûr, Cosâ, MC, PC, FM, VSM, Regipäts, Davron, Radio-Controlled, or the Gucci Duce Chair mean? Buy this book and find out!

Front Page Talossa
RT£413,-- (US$7.00)
A collection of more than 53 Talossan newspapers from the past--stretching from 1980 to 1996--covering the leading events in Talossa's history the way they were reported at the time. This visually stunning record is the perfect companion to Ár Päts, and is especially valuable for new Cybercits who want to get a "feel" of what Talossa has really been all these years. Relive our evolution from magic markers to the Internet! The compilation, produced by Ben Madison and John Jahn, includes examples of every RT newspaper: Støtanneu (under various names), Dårliget Løgner, Ben Wu, Tú Phäts, TNN, National Report, The Neophyte, The Integrity, the Devotchka Gazetta, and L'Avîntguárd. Includes Davron's "fecal log"!

History of the Kingdom of Talossa
RT£1.180,-- (US$20.00)
The first volume covering Talossan history from prehistoric times, through our 1979 birth, up to our 10th anniversary of sovereign nationhood in 1989. 38 chapters, 200 pages; filled with more than 50 illustrations, maps, and graphs!

National Atlas of Talossa
RT£354,-- (US$6.00)
The socio-territorial history of Talossa told in more than 60 maps. RT prehistory, provinces, colonial claims, border disputes, demographics, and a hilarious but useful section of "basic facts." Great for new citizens and public libraries.
Paßaphôrt
RT£295,-- (US$5.00)
Talossa now has its very own passports! Bound in rich green vinyl on quality paper, this visually attractive officious document lets you literally show the world you're a Talossan! Available to Talossan citizens only. (Note that you must provide a passport-sized photo along with your order.)

Scúrzniâ Gramáticâ del Glheþ Talossán
RT£590,-- (US$10.00)
This impressive second-edition "Short Grammar of the Talossan Language" is available in English and is the definitive work on Talossan grammar and usage. Contains complete rules for nouns, adjectives, pronouns, prepositions, verbs, conjunctions, adverbs and vocabulary. Makes a great December 26th present!

Treisoûr del Glheþ Talossán, Second Edition
Book: RT£1.770,-- (US$30.00)
On DOS HD disks, in WordPerfect 6.0 format: RT£413,-- (US$7.00)
The definitive Talossan-language dictionary -- thoroughly revised in 1997 -- El Treisoûr contains some 30,000 Talossan words and their English translations, assembled from nearly twenty years of Talossan-language texts. Contains a detailed phonetic exposé of Talossan in layman's terms (no hyperglottal occlusive spirants). Now you can cut past the glheþ and read the Talossan-speaking community's seditious plots and love poems!

To order any (or all) of the books in this section, please e-mail John at sinatra@execpc.com. When he has acknowledged your order, please send a check or money order to the following address:

FOR THESE BOOKS:

• U.S. ORDERS: Please include $2.50 per book. Thank you!
• OVERSEAS ORDERS: For surface mail (delivery time: 4 - 6 weeks), please include $4.00 per book. For airmail, please include $7.00 per book. Thank you!

Your order will hopefully be processed within 72 hours of payment.

Flags of the Kingdom of Talossa
RT£590,-- (US$10.00)
Until very recently, Talossa had more flags than people! This amazing work is a national treasure--and a runaway best-seller. 50 flags, all in full colour. National, provincial, military and party banners; all have stories to tell.

Invasion of the Androids!
RT£472,-- (US$8.00)
A 53-page account of the wonderful, horrible careers of the three notorious "Androids" -- Ron Rosalez, David Kuenn, and Andrew Wozniak. Every detail, every scandal, every silly utterance of "Davron" and "Woz the Indestructible" is included. Complete with 3 appendices, a foreword by Matthias Muth, and an intro by King Robert I, this highly informative and entertaining book is a MUST READ for all Talossans!

Jahnist Architecture
RT£472,-- (US$8.00)
Brook Gläfke called this book "Megalomania personified in stone." Complete collection of John Jahn's megalomaniachal, gravity-defying architectural masterpieces from 1980 to 1990. Everything from monumental office buildings to statues of Wagner to the Big Huge Birds of stone! A psychoanalyst's dream.

La Camerâ dal Cosâ
RT£531,-- (US$9.00)
Reproductions of the Cosâ chamber, showing election returns in full-colour, all the way back to 1981! Seats coloured according to party, with helpful statistics and notes.

Onward! Upward! Forward! A History of the TNP
full colour: RT£708,-- (US$12.00)
black & white: RT£531,-- (US$9.00)
Jahn's eye-opening, insider's tell-all of the story behind the biggest, oldest, and most successful rightist party in RT history, Jahn's venerable, legendary Talossan National Party--a major player on the RT political stage from 1985 to 1990. This book, the first major study of an RT political party ever written, tells the complete story of this fascinating mass movement.

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